On Magic vs. Power, Continued.

There was another reason that I started using the word magic in place of the word power: sheer self-preservation.

Many times when I met powerful people, or were exposed to their organizations, I was always shocked and disturbed at how power had deformed them over the years – personally, spiritually, socially, and often even physically.

The behavior, paranoia, secrecy, and control mechanisms required to maintain their own personal power seemed to remove so many of them from the basic realities and joys of being a human being - appreciating mystery, enjoying spontaneity and humor, or being able to have a conversation free of any underlying transactional subtext.

It was deeply disturbing, and very sad, because so many of the people I met in Philadelphia had had ideals: justice, peace, freedom, equality. Generally the system that they had become a part of had done them such violence, and so they replicated it with their own subordinates. Not everyone was like this, but I saw a lot of confusion out there.

Paolo Coelho in 'Brida' wrote that there are two types of creators: those who build, and those who plant. And that those who build become trapped by the structure they have built - while those who plant are continually amazed by the new stages and shapes that appear.

I have thought about running for office in the past, because I would be very smart about it, probably win, and then would have power to accomplish progressive goals. I have struggled with this a lot, but in the end I know I cannot do this. I do not want to end up like those folks. It seems like the worst and the loneliest way to live. My job is to carry the ring of power without putting it on. To fragment and destroy all centralization of power, and return the magic (which I guess is just power broken into atomized golden dust) to those who should have it.

I consider myself exceptionally lucky to be able to do this. I have been let into the group of people who truly change the world. It is a heavy thing, but quite amazing, and quite a heavy burden. I have to really earn my stripes, if they are going to let me stay in.

I do not know precisely how power is broken into magic. Sometimes it is force, and sometimes it is music, and sometimes it is just knowing where the cracks are. It is still very mysterious to me. It is sometimes hard, to be that which grounds power – I transfer power through me to others without keeping it for myself - a conductor. But I wouldn't wish for anything else.